September 2015

The struggle through sickness continues for Derry, it is like a chain reaction, this is why I do not like medication ... the side effects create further problems.
He is positive it will end soon and our life can reach a peaceful place, throughout we maintain our crazy contact, never more than 2 hours without talking, mad but it gives us strength.

August 29th 2014
Derry Hughes why does so much go wrong? Pacemaker no longer first choice and now awaiting a surgical myectomy but before that the discovery of plaque in the artery and a stent inserted. First stent failed and now another will be inserted, still waiting for the myectomy operation ...... time drags.

July 2010

August 31 2014

Second stent in and the Myectomy is on the 8th of September .... I am scared.

July 18th 2014
It is now nearly 9 months with our life on hold. 
Derry eventually received bi-polar medication that had acceptable side-effects and seem to be holding his moods in check. Untreated bi-polar worsens and to only be diagnosed at 58 years old is tragic, a lifetime of mood swings and bi-polar rages that got him into so much trouble - all unnecessary, years wasted in treatments that did no good, so much of life wasted!
But just when it seems we had reached the end of the road, Derry's blood pressure spikes again, this had led to so many changes in medication as it was presumed they were the cause, the Doctors decide to send him to a cardiologist for a check yet again, this time they find the problem; 

Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM) is an inherited disease of your heart muscle, where the muscle wall of your heart becomes thickened.   

It is a genetic condition caused by a change or mutation in one or more genes and is passed on through families. Each child of someone with HCM has a 50 per cent chance of inheriting the condition.

About 1 in 500 of the UK population has the condition, although most people who have it have few symptoms.

How does it affect my heart?

If you have HCM, the muscular wall of your heart - the myocardium - becomes thickened, making the heart muscle stiff.

This thickening makes it harder for your heart to pump blood out of your heart and around your body.

How thick your muscle is, and how much of your muscle is affected, varies from one person to another. The left ventricle (one of your heart's four chambers) is almost always affected, and in some people the muscle of the right ventricle also thickens.

To begin with they tried medication, this did not work. Derry was sent to have a pace maker fitted and the specialist at the hospital felt he may be a good candidate for alcohol ablation; 
Since its original description in 1994, alcohol septal ablation (ASA) has emerged as a minimally invasive modality for treatment of hypertrophic obstructive cardiomyopathy compared to surgical myomectomy. This catheter-based intervention relies on the injection of absolute alcohol into the septal perforator to induce a controlled infarction of the hypertrophied septum and consequently abolish the dynamic outflow obstruction.
At first it looked like it was successful but 2 weeks after the procedure Derry faints, tests prove it has failed and now he awaits a pacemaker.

It is hard to accept we are getting old and our bodies are failing us, we met so late and hoped we would have a few years of active life left to enjoy, I am stressing big time, it does not help that all I can do is wait. even though he has to stay under medical supervision most of the day, Derry visits almost daily , always with icecreams, chocolates or flowers. We sit and talk of the challenges that lie ahead, plans such as a traditional wedding have now down sized to a registry office. We have been together over 5 years now and it has been an almost daily struggle overcoming all the problems that have besieged us, having climbed so far up the mountain and the summit is in sight, you have to keep going. Pace maker in about a weeks time, please God let it be successful and an end to our problems.

22 February 2014

The month has almost gone, spring is trying to happen but Derry is still not home as the doctors are still trying to get his medication right.
I never imagined how difficult it is to get medication correct for Bipolar! so many dangerous side effects, so many failures ..... now on the 6th drug and it has been almost a week, so far this drug seems to have few side effects apart from drowsiness, yesterday the dosage was lowered as it made him so sedated he could barely function. I am not sure if they will leave it at the lower dose or increase it again once his body adjusts I just pray it wont be much longer. At least he visits regularly now, it makes it easier for both of us.
We found a lovely house in Aquitane, France that we both love, hoping we can both get there next month.

The photo was taken at Midmar, South Africa. proof positive the medication has made Derry gain so much weight ...... diet is definitely in order, (for both of us - Derry swaps me in chocolates I have no will power to resist)

28 December 2013 Christmas has gone without Derry, he spent the day being driven to find a hospital with space to insert a drain into his chest, but before he could he managed to cough up the worst of it and it was decided to let it heal, however his BP remained high and what was put down to the chest infection now appeared to be the bipolar meds! So it was back to changing meds. The new meds have been hard to stomach - literally! leading to 2 days of vomiting, shakes and blurred vision, trying to find the right medication for mental illnesses seems to be very difficult with so many unwanted side effects. Once they appear to be working there is still the worry that they may not fully suppress the mania and depression, only time will tell.
The waiting seems endless, Derry Paul Hughes get well soon.

18th December 2013 - Still waiting impatiently for Derry Hughes. Diagnosis seems to be bipolar, he is now finding out what medication suits him best once that is sorted he should be home, he better be, Christmas is getting close and I spent last Christmas alone as he went through the same thing, except then they treated him for anxiety and depression, maybe this time the diagnosis is right, it would seem that the darker shorter days of winter make many people depressed, bipolars have mood swings, periods of normal, highs and lows, with the lows often being taken as depression.

Christmas day 2013, Derry Paul Hughes is still not home, now the medications seem to be alright the man-flu becomes a chest infection which worsens to Pleural empyema! Now it is mega doses of anti-biotics and oxygen therapy, out of four christmas days as a couple we have only been together on christmas day once! Fate keeps repeating itself over and over, what are the odds of that?

Derry Hughes, At last you shared your dark secret, perhaps now you will heal.
No one needs to walk alone in the darkness, step into the light - it waits.

Time drags ...... I get so cross at how I am not informed about your treatment, I know it is because we are not married, you say that we will be married soon so next time it will be different, I still hope there will not be a next time.

Dec 4 2013 After so long you were allowed to visit, I could see you were not fully recovered but a lot better, so nice to have some time together and ease the pressure of being apart, this is the first step to your coming home which is wonderful. I know that mental illness will always be a risk, that at times you may  again do things completely out of character as you have done, somehow I have to learn the signs and know what to do.

Christmas day 2013, Derry Paul Hughes is still not home, now the medications seem to be alright the man-flu becomes a chest infection which worsens to Pleural empyema! Now it is mega doses of anti-biotics and oxygen therapy, out of four christmas days as a couple we have only been together on christmas day once! Fate keeps repeating itself over and over, what are the odds of that?